Turn “I don’t know” into your strongest tool

No one in your company or team should be made to feel afraid or inferior because they don’t know the answer to a question.

Instead, both you and they should be inquisitive about why they don’t know something.

Listing all the reasons someone might not know something would be exhausting.

Rather, let’s take a flip-side perspective on the other party in the conversation.

Why does the other person expect that person to know something?

This is often an unleveraged question, and one from which we can learn a lot.

Now, consider what domain of knowledge the other person had in mind for you and why you weren’t able to match up to that expectation.

It could be a misunderstanding of the *other* person's assumption that something falls within your domain of knowledge.

While it would be too easy to chalk it down to an error being made, it’s more productive to dive one layer deeper into the reasoning for this.

An “I don’t know” response often indicates that there is a bridge or connection between pieces of information that is missing.

Equally, it can show that the question asked was not the pertinent one for that moment.

When someone comes to me for marketing advice, I sometimes feel obliged to answer “I don’t know” to questions because it’s the correct and honest thing to do.

It is not a direct reflection of my skill or competence in the area they are asking about.

If I get asked about how to improve their branding, but I don’t have the specifics of what they have been doing in the past, I can’t know without more background.

Consider responding "I can't know, yet" rather than "I don't know."

My lack of knowledge on how to respond to a question means that I am not able to connect the dots in my mind.

"I don't know" is not the same as a lack of response. It is a response, like any other.

If we’re playing a game of cards, and you ask me what cards I think you have, even with the best strategy, play, and experience, there will be situations where I don’t know.

If we’re playing a game of chess, and you ask me what move I think you’ll make, the same situation can occur if there are multiple moves present, or I simply do not spot one.

Admitting that “I don’t know” is neither positive nor negative, but rather just a response, turns it into a tool.

Tools are just tools.

If I asked you if an SQL database was positive or negative, how would you answer? Simply, you should answer, “It’s an SQL database. It doesn’t have an intrinsic positive or negative value. Depending on how it’s used, it can be positive, negative, or even neutral.”

But if I told you you have to solve a problem that requires some sort of data storage, you’d want the option of a SQL database.

Having options is usually positive.

Unless it leads to action paralysis.

Go into any carpenter’s workshop and you will find a mountain of wrenches and screwdrivers.

Some are old and hidden in drawers.

You should consider putting “I don’t know” right up there on your workbench, together with the other tools that you use the most, and tell anyone that they can use it.

"I don't know" doesn't signify the end of a conversation. Rather, it begins one.

The next time someone asks you something and you don’t know, consider the compliment that firstly they think you would be able to answer that question.

And if they’re asking you a question they know you don’t know, I hope it’s approached as a Socratic dialogue.

Otherwise, they might be purposefully poking at you. No one likes that.

Don’t do that.